Songs of Praise

When you are bombarded by something in your daily christian walk, it usually means the Lord is trying to get a point across about something right? Well, I am clueless about what I am suppose to learn, but I have been bombarded with two things over the past month...music and praise. It seems that everywhere I turn I am reading such verses as Psalm 100:4 "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. Give Thanks and praise his name." This was in my quiet time, my Sunday school lesson, my preacher's message, oh, and of course my devotional today:) I truly don't believe that music is the point, although I can't function through life without it, but I think the point is the praise. I have been in a bit down lately because we have been trying to have another baby and it hasn't happen for eleven months... If any of you have been through this, you know that this type of situation can wreak havoc on a woman's mental state:) Well, mine hasn't been too bad...except it has been missing the praise. I have been so focused on what I want that I haven't focused on God. I turned thirty last week, and was blessed enough to spend it ocean-side in the Bahamas with my amazing family. As I sat and looked at what an amazing creation the Lord has made, I was overwhelmed with praise. I couldn't stop thanking him and praising him for all he had given me, healed in me, healed in my family, and NOT given me! I can't help but have a renewed sense of thankfulness and a heart of praise to the Lord for how wonderful he is...as the song says "through the calm and through the storm."

The Control Myth

So I am a control freak by nature. I know that is so incredibly shocking to many women out there, but it is, in fact, one of my greatest challenges in life. In my childhood it translated into rebellion and in adulthood hyper-perfectionism and unreasonable expectations. I have always struggled with the myth that if I stay in total control, then bad things will not happen. This is something that tends to be cultivated by the world. Time after time, the Lord has tested me on this assumption, frequently throwing me a curve-ball situation in which I had absolutely no control (such as becoming pregnant with my son four months after my daughter was born...). In these situations I have two choices, I can turn to Christ and find hope and comfort...or I can sink into a depression and fight to find something else I can control.
With each life lesson, I learn more and more about what Christ truly offers when we turn to him rather than trying to control. The truth is, control is a myth. It is an illusion that we have created in our sinful natures to make it easier to become our own God. I love how Andrea Lennon prays..."Lord, You are God and I am not." Whew. With each ounce of control I relinquish, my burden becomes lighter. Now, make no mistake, my life doesn't become easier...but God never promised us easy. He did, however, promise He would remain in control. This means He's got it...He knows what is coming, He knows what has been...and He knows how I am going to react to things. He walks with me and understand me like no one else. I don't understand why I wouldn't want Him to be in control! ...Ahhh, but then the myth tries to sneak by in:)
Over the past two months my husband and I have been going through a trial with our son. Boy, those are the ones that sneak that myth back in quickly, aren't they? Brother has had a lump on his neck about the size of a walnut, maybe a bit larger. We had gone undiagnosed for almost two months with the fear of lymphoma very real to us. You have never seen two people hit their knees so quickly! The Lord has not healed brother (yet)...but He has never left our side. He has repeatedly revealed Himself to us through friends asking us to pray, outpourings of love, and opening the door to see a doctor at Children's Hospital that may not have been opened otherwise. I have seen God through this. And although this had been difficult, my faith has grown everyday. I recently read the story in Matthew 14 about Jesus walking on water. He calls Peter out to Him and Peter jumps out of the boat without thinking twice. Then the myth takes over...Peter realizes he is standing in a sea of water and he has no control over the situation. I can just see his mind working...."how am I going to get back to the boat...what am I going to do if I sink...how do I get myself out of this?" The process of reverting back to that question..."how am I going to control this situation." Finally, Peter realizes he is not alone...Jesus, the Savior, is standing right in front of him. So he makes the statement I have made so many times upon realizing my control is a lie..."Lord, save me!" And Jesus is ever faithful...He immediately stretches out his hand to hold Peter's. "Why did you doubt?" he asks. I wonder how frequently He asks that of me? Loosing focus of Jesus for one second allows our minds to explore other options...options we think we can plan out under the facade of control. The fact is there is no other option. Only Jesus...and He is ever faithful to stand right before me, holding out his hand. And I rest in the fact he is doing that for my son as well. Thank you Jesus!

Finally!

Well...this blogsite has been up and running for sometime now, and I am making my first post. It seems that one thing or another has prevented me from posting... a sick child, a sick husband, the sudden decision by one child or another to not take a nap, and finally my computer crashing! As many stay-at-home moms know, it isn't always easy to sit anywhere for an extended period of time, much less at a computer:) Sadly, quiet time with the Lord is also often a luxury...but one I have to acquire to be able to function through the day! Some people might think it is odd that I think of my role as a SAHM as a ministry, but I came to this realization not too long ago. My family recently moved to a new city. For the first time, my husband and I are away from any help other than each other and the Lord, and it has thrown us for a loop! Breaks are few and far between and burn out is happening much more quickly than it use to! However, this move has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It has caused my husband and I to truly rely on each other, but more than that it has brought us to the point that God is our only source of energy and rest. The Lord has provided me with many godly, stay at home moms in the place of family that cannot be here. He has given us a church that we adore and can't wait to attend. He has opened doors that have pushed us to leave our comfort zones and apply our spiritual gifts. While settling in is a continual process and we may have times of homesickness, God has provided for us in ways we never thought to ask. What an amazing opportunity to be able to actually watch God in action in my own life! It is through this move that God has shown me that He gave me the amazing opportunity to minister to my children, and staying at home with them is a gift...not a burden. This is a fact that I desperately need to know, as burn out comes and the breaks are fewer.... This is the goal of my posts, to help other stay at home moms know they are not alone as they go through tough times with no help manual, and to reassure them that they are indeed in a ministry. The amazing thing is that God doesn't place you in a ministry without also providing the tools, we just have to have faith and seek Him!